I Want You to Want Me

It kind of cracks me up when I think about how much we need validation... okay, maybe 'we' is a little too much assumption on my part, but last night at an event I heard a guest telling her friends this:

"I think Trish is like my preschool teacher and I get so excited to show her things and be all 'look what I did!' and she tells me, 'Good Job!' and I feel so happy that I made her proud"  or something close to that.  The hilarious part of this is that I feel the exact same way about Trish.  I want her to like me and to tell me I'm doing a good job.  A pat on the head would be A-OK.

Who is Trish?  Seriously, she's just a woman whose job is to coordinate a very large community of people and to plan awesome events and make sure we all behave in said community but have a great time.  I say "just" because in the grand scheme of things, she's just a person that probably shouldn't have that much weight over any of us, but how cute that I'm not the only one that wants her approval and validation.

What is it that makes us feel this need for approval from peers?  To the friends and co-workers I surround myself with in my real life, I'm outgoing and kind of a loud mouth and have no problem saying what think and running my mouth and cracking jokes, etc.  But, around strangers, I'm a completely different person.  I'm shy and nervous.  Does this mean I have low self esteem?  I don't know.  My friends never believe that I'm shy.  They tell me to be the spokesperson when at a function and laugh when I tell them I hate public speaking.  When I attend these community events, I make myself start conversations with a few people and I actually did develop ONE friendly acquaintance so far, but mostly, I stick with Mr. San Diego and talk to him... because that's easy.  There is no pressure talking to your husband.  No chance that he's going to dismiss me. No worries that I won't be "cool" enough or "interesting" enough.

Why do I care what strangers think when the people I know and love, love me?

It's one of those great life mysteries, I guess.

I'm a Shopaholic

I don't know exactly how it happened, but I am a shopaholic.  I must stop.  I need to pay off my bills, but I cannot resist a hot Betsey Johnson tote or necklace or some cool thing I found on Amazon.  Lately I've been playing with Little Black Bag .  Every month when I open a bag and start trading, I get totally obsessed.  Which is why ONLY ONE BAG PER MONTH.  This month I went particularly crazy and actually added extras to my bag, so it got a little pricey, but I got some super gorgey stuff.  If you aren't familiar with Little Black Bag, you need to check it out.  I warn that it is addicting, but I see it as getting some cute stuff and entertainment at the same time.  Hell, I drop $30 just for us to go to see a movie and that only lasts 3 hours... LBB trading lasts SEVEN DAYS!   Check it out.  I'm going to do a video when I get my new bag so I'll post here and you can see what I mean.

Anyway, I think it's time to turn over a new leaf.  The question is, can I?   I don't know.  I hope so.  Because I would love to get my debt out of the way and start working for retirement instead of to pay off bills.

Out.  Gotta go check my Little Black Bag to see what I ended up with... my seven days JUST ENDED.