A Month I Hope Never to Repeat

The majority of the time, I'm good.  I mean, I get crabby and truthfully, I've gone through some minor bouts of depression in the last few months, but I tend to make my way through and move on.  July was not one of those times.

I guess I could make a list of all of the things that made me miserable.  There were a lot.  Mostly surrounding my job and mostly related to moving an office of 100 people to a city 35 miles away to a building we hate. Moreover, I've struggled with a "superior" who seems to hate me and every single thing I do, say, or probably even every facial expression of mine.  That's hard.  And, in the midst of this I chose to live far from home for a couple of weeks to be close to the turmoil.

But, instead, I think I want to think about the amazing things that happened during this month of hell.

I know my husband is sick of hearing me whine about my job and the move, but he was so understanding during this time and not only didn't mind me living far away for two weeks, essentially leaving him home alone, but he also came up to meet me on the weekends so we could be together... even though I was actually WORKING on one of those weekends!  He was a trooper.  Sure, I wish he was a little more empathetic instead of competitive as to who has to work harder.. heh.. but, it was good to have the support.

Speaking of support, my parents were amazing.  Not only did they take me in  for a two  weeks stint (right after throwing their annual party for the fam), but my mom fed me delicious meals every night, they plied me with tasty beverages when I needed them and gave me a LOT of needed hugs.  They listen to me and give advice and HUG.  I am the luckiest girl in the world to have such an amazing family.

At work, I got kudos and congratulations in the most surprising places from people I wouldn't expect.  Of course everyone wasn't so nice, but enough people made me feel like they truly were appreciative of my efforts and that, that is a good thing.

I'm behind in my inchies, I missed my last massage, I got a massive pay cut, and a lot of crap has happened, but I have to say that for the most part, the people in my life are amazing and they make up for all of the things that might turn me into a horribly miserable person.  I think it's important to cherish those people in our lives and to make sure that we are as much a boost for them as they are for us.

Tweet Tweet

I signed up for Twitter.   I really didn't mean to.  I tried to not do this EVER, but there was a prize involved so I did it.  I feel guilty.  Stupid Wheel of Fortune... tricked me into tweeting.  I did, however, win a prize so there's that.  Then there was Jimmie Johnson giving away hats on his Twitter... everyone is using Twitter, so I DID IT!!!  Now they're already pressuring me to INSTAGRAM!  NOoooooooooooooo!

I have to stand my ground somewhere, right?

All this social networking.  Does everyone really need to know everything about everyone?

I guess so.

New York New York!

I've been dying to write about New York, but it was a secret! For my husband's 50th birthday I spent the last 2 years planning a secret trip to New York to take him to the Toy Fair and to see the city. We've always wanted to go and we did it!

The secret went off without a hitch... he found out when we were in line to check in at the airport! In hindsight, maybe I should have given him a week's notice. But, oh well. It all worked out in the end and we had an amazing time. We did the Toy Fair, seven National Park sites, a short walk through Central park, the Met, some amazing dinners, a couple of breweries and some beer events and two Broadway shows!

I feel like I got that town DOWN! It was a whirlwind week and amazing. YEA! It reminded me though how much I'd like to do something with helping people develop vacation itineraries. I seriously love doing that and there is this part of me that thinks I could turn this into a business! Maybe I should start out with developing some sample itineraries via a blog or something and see if people are even interested.

I guess I'll keep "thinking about it". That's how lazy people do things.

Begin whining...

When I write, I really want to write about positive things, so I hold off because things have been TOUGH lately.  I have a job where I am paid very well, have a ton of freedom and flexibility, and never have a dull moment.  That said, all of that comes with a tremendous amount of responsibility.  Others have expectations of me that sometimes can be hard to meet.  I am responsible for a lot of decisions and planning and execution and that kind of pressure can be crushing at times.

This is one of those times.

For the last 2 months, I've been being me AND covering for one of my supervisors.  I've been dealing with staffing shortages, procedure changes requiring a lot of extra work by the staff I'm supervising and an overwhelming feeling of "I can't freaking do this!".  As much as I hate to admit it, I've even CRIED.  Ugh, I hate that.

Everyone has drama at work.  Everyone has tough times.  I know I'm not unique or special, but man, it feels like I am right now.  My husband has been dealing with staffing issues, too.  He's has been stressed.  But, the truth is, he has no effing clue what stress at work really is.  He just doesn't.  I love him, I do, but he doesn't not have clue one about being the one person in a company of 160 employees who holds responsibility for executing a great deal of assignments and making decisions for way too many people.  In fact, the truth is I don't know anyone else who has this kind of responsibility so maybe part of the problem is that I don't have any peers that I can commiserate with or bounce problems off of, etc.  And, there is NO worries from anyone above me about my not meeting a deadline.  I must.  Period.

It's really kicked my ass and I guess I just need to vent.  I know that in six months, things should be a little smoother in my world, but until that happens, I'm getting gray hair!  

/whining

Crazy Little Thing Called Life...

There is a song I love... it's called Taking Time.  It goes like this:

Where does the time go,
in the middle of life's flow
Why don't it go slow anymore...

This describes me.  SERIOUSLY.

I feel like I am on a carousel that just goes faster and faster, with time spinning by me with every blink of an eye.  I like being busy at work, but this is crazy.  I don't even have enough hours in the day to get it all done and then I'm on the road home, then in bed, then doing it over again.

Luckily, this weekend, I get a little short getaway, but at least I can have a mini-escape and hopefully discover this elusive thing I've been searching for called sleep. Whatever happens, it will be recreational (well, except for the driving back and forth to the location).    UGH... duty calls... I already have to run and I thought I could steal five minutes to jot some thoughts...

SIGH

Tomorrow?

Happy New Year - Welcome 2014

Lets see if I can be a more successful blogger in 2014.  I want to say things that are meaningful.  I want to post my art and not miss an inchie.  I want to get started on that Nascar blog.  I want to be engaging and engage with others.

I don't want to rant... or whine... or blither... or apologize for not posting.

I'm excited about a new year and my life.  I have so much planned for this year and I'm just eager for each day... well, except that work part.  Man, retirement is so far away.  Work, seriously gets in the way of all of the fun and adventures I feel destined for.  But, I guess I can make that a challenge:  don't let work get in the way of joy and adventure.  Here's to experiencing life!  Here's to new things!  Here's to family and friends.

Here's to 2014!