How Much is Too Much for a Dream Dinner?

I am obsessed with food. I am. I love dining. I love chefs. I love interesting and different food (lets not go crazy, I'll pass on most offal). I want to eat in ALL of the best restaurants and taste the delights that a skilled chef can create. But, lets face it, I'm on an Olive Garden budget. I like to THINK I can just eat whatever and whenever and wherever I want, but if I eat at all of the places I want to, I might just break my bank.

So, what's a girl to do?  Where is the limit?  I have no problem spending $125 for two for dinner.  It's a splurge, but we do it on occasion.  But what about when I get the chance to eat at some of my dream restaurants?  Lets say I was going to New York.  Now New York is a place where I just won't be going very often, so when I do get there, I want to experience as much as possible and no matter how many amazing restaurants are around the world and in my own backyard, the truth is that NYC is a gourmet dining capital.  How do I pass this up?

One of my dream restaurants is Daniel.  While Daniel is no longer at the top of the top in NYC, it is still a classic fine dining restaurant with amazing seasonal menus that are crafted with care. Daniel may have a lot more competitions, but it's somewhere I have long dreamed of enjoying the seasonal tasting menu.  The problem?  The "cheap seats" on that tasting menu is STILL $195 per person and that doesn't even include the wine pairings.  Yeah, I said $195 per person!!!  

That is only the tip of the iceberg.  What about my fantasy of eating omakase at the hands of Mr. Uezu at Kurumazushi.  Take a guess... go ahead.  Omakase STARTS at $300 per person.  But this man is known to be a master with seafood that he has flown in for his restaurant.  Can anything be worth that much?  I know you can get meals much more expensive, but these are just my simple little dreams.

Chefs Table at Brooklyn Fare is another fantasy.  This one isn't even in reach because besides the $225 per person price tag, it's dinner only and there is much raw taking place, which my husband would not be interested in.  I can't exactly ditch him for dinner!  So, even if i could get a reservation... this one truly is out of reach.

You can see the problem.  There are more...  There's Blanca, and Jean George, and there's Per Se and Le Cirque, there's Momofuko and another long time New York icon Le Bernardin.  I mean, New York City is an eater's paradise.  

So here is my question.  When do I pass from "but it's a special occasion" to "I seriously need to commit myself before I bankrupt my family"?  How far is too far for this middle class girl with a middle class credit card and a middle class husband.  Do I do Daniel and go cheap the rest of the week.  Do I pick a few of these splurges as "one of a kind nights"... and then where do I draw the line?  $200pp?  $300pp?  How do I pick a limit?  HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

I Want to Be Ruth Reichl When I Grow Up

When I grow up I want to be Ruth Reichl.   Seriously, I want to be an amazing cook and a writer and have that depth of understanding of food and flavors.  What an amazing life she has lived.  At least from the outside looking in!  hehe  Garlic and Sapphires is seriously one of my favorite books.  These days I don't read or listen to books more than once, usually, but I had to re-listen to that both because I love it so much and in preparation for a trip to New York!

That's another thing.  How awesome to go to New York and know all the best places to eat.  I also wish I could sit down with her and my itinerary and she could help me plan my dining!  Not that I can afford to eat at all of the places I'm dreaming of, but it's my dream!

Anyway, if you don't know about Ruth, check out her blog.  You'll find a lot of interesting posts about food, recipes, restaurants, kitchen tools, etc.  I such a fan.  I'm such a dork.

A Bad Habit?

I want to "LIKE" everything.  The Facebook has conditioned me to want this.  It doesn't matter where I am on the Internet, but if I can't "LIKE" something I actually do like, I feel frustrated and let down.  The Stupid Facebook.

Once Again, People Disappoint Me!

And another month rolls by...   I truly love writing.  I mean, I love it so much that even my emails become unwieldy.  I could never tweet because I don't think enough characters would be allowed for how much I'd feel like I needed to say.  But with all of this, I'm averaging ONE POST PER MONTH here.  WHAT?

DAILY, I think about writing here and I actually write posts in my head, but there seems to be so little free time to just WRITE.  I'm usually so busy when I get on the computer.  So then I DO get here and what do I write about?  The fact that I'm not writing.

I know.

Makes no sense to me, either.

But, in addition to my confession of being a sucky blogger, I do have a BIT of a rant.

Why do people want so much to focus on the negative?  I guess it's good that I pretty much write this only for me and no one else reads it, because I think I would be a little crushed if 5000 people commented on something I wrote calling me a hypocrite and a loser and a bad mother (um, I'm not ACTUALLY a mom or anything), etc.  Yesterday, I read that "gone viral" post by a mom who was just doing a little post to her blog about some of the young girls her sons were connected to on the Facebook posting inappropriate selfies.  It was her way of talking about how she felt about this and then she posted pictures of her family at the beach, which meant they were in swim suits.  People FREAKED out.  Seriously, this lady did not write an article on how teenage girls were the downfall of humanity for USA Today or anything like that.  She simply wrote a post about her family and their values and basically a warning to these girls about how damaging posts like this can be for you and your relationships and your future.  I thought it was well written and made perfect sense and her family photos were fun and wholesome.  Yet people acted like she was the devil incarnate come here to TELL THEM HOW TO LIVE AND HOW TO THINK and how she was such a hypocrite because she posted photos of her family in bathing suits.

People.  Seriously.  STOP.

You people look and sound stupid.  It's a blog post by a mom.  Get over it and quit trying to find a reason to get all hateful and attack someone.  What is wrong with people's lives that they can't just live and let live.  If you don't like what the lady blogs about, DON'T READ IT!

We are so lucky to be a world made up of individuals with the ability to think independently and with the right to our own opinions.  Oh, do not get me wrong.  I JUDGE.  Oh yes, I do.  I acknowledge that I am judgmental about some things.  I definitely disagree with how some people live their lives or raise their children, but guess what.  I SUCK IT UP.  Even when it's my own family that does stupid shit.  Because taking care of ourselves is seriously hard enough.  It is not my job, nor should it be, to try to change others to my way of thinking.  I even get angry about things I think are inappropriate.  I might even comment on news articles with my opinions.

But, if this lady wants to raise her family in way that includes using the Internet together and talking about what their family feels is and is not appropriate, then by golly, go for it.  I actually find that quite refreshing in these days and times.  I can pretty much guarantee you that there is a lot she believes that I DO NOT.  This just happens to be something I agree with her on.  But, even if I don't agree, does that make it okay to swoop in and attack someone because they want to live their life and bring up their kids in a way I disagree with?  WTF?  I am going to go with a resounding "no".

So bizarre and hateful and that is what scares me.  Why do people immediately go on the offensive and feel attacked just because someone has a different opinion then them?  Some of my own friends were going off on this and I have to admit, it kind of changed my opinion of them, because while I admit to being judgmental myself at times, I would hope that I would not go on the attack like this. For the most part I feel like I have an EXTREMELY open mind and I know it is crazy to expect others to have the same, but there are some out there that I DO expect that of so when they don't, I can only think.. "WHO ARE YOU?" You know, as I think about it and as I write this I realize that while it's hard to do, these attackers have offended me.  Their behavior is offensive for several reasons.  First, why is their opinion more important than hers?  Second, they read paragraphs between the lines of her quite straightforward post... why would you have to LOOK for it to mean more than it does? Third, how is posting scathing or downright hateful comments make you a better person than this mom who just cares about her children and is raising her family the way SHE thinks is best?

I hope that she and her family use this as fodder for their family talks and not let it get to them.  I am SO happy that she has not taken down the post or the photos because there is nothing wrong or offensive with either and I applaud her.

SO THERE.

I Burn

When August rolls around, I seriously get twitchy thinking about all the burners heading to Black Rock City.  I know that someday I will be back.  I WANT to go back.  I DREAM of going back.  It’s just not possible yet.  I’m a second year burner who hasn’t made that second year yet.  One of the most transformative events in my life sticks to my brain and makes me dream of doing it again; of experiencing the feeling of freedom and love again – the one you just don’t feel in the real world.

I’m sure there are people who jack up their burn, maybe even jack it up for others, but the MAJORITY of them are there for the same reason.  To groove on the total amazing collective FREEDOM.  THAT IS WHO I WANT TO BE.  I want to say that is who I am, but the truth is it is who I want to be.  So I tell the truth.

Oh August, you bring me such pain and such hope and such longing for the playa.

LONGING.

to burn.

My Trust in Humanity is Bouncing Like a Ball

I’ve been feeling really angry.  I was involved in a very minor car accident in which I was rear ended.  The damage is very slight, but I want to get it fixed of course.  I have a fairly new car and there is no reason to drive around with it wrecked.  At the time of the accident, I exchanged information with the person who hit me.  He seemed nice – I’ve been fooled before – but he was right out of the gate apologizing and providing me with his info, so I figured “let’s just get this done and get out of here”.  We were in an unsafe place on the side of the freeway and I’ve waited for police before on an accident and it can take HOURS for someone to show up, so we went on our way.

I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me that this guy was going to be a lying pile of crap just like the last four people who caused accidents involving ME.  But, of course, he did in fact lie to his insurance company, who subsequently denied my claim.  My insurance company, of course, believes me so they denied his claim.  The next step is I have to get my car fixed and pay my $500 deductible so that they can go to arbitration to determine who is at fault.  If I lose there, then I will have to go to small claims court.  Of course, if someone is willing to commit insurance fraud, why would they worry about a little thing called perjury?  But I am not sitting back and taking this.  I’m going to fight with all I have because this A-hole is a morally repugnant bad hearted person and needs to be held accountable for his actions.  I’m not just talking about the accident.  I mean it was an accident.  It happens.  I was nice then and would have been all along if he hadn’t lied outright about what happened.

The point of this story is to give you ONE of the reasons why I’ve been so angry with people and society in general.  I’ve been feeling like people just have no heart or soul.  I do not claim to be special or amazingly God-like or anything, but I’m a good person and I try not to lie unless it’s a little white one to make someone feel better, you know?  In general, I think I’m a good person.  I’ve just been feeling lately like there aren’t many of us out there and it’s disheartening.

Something happened today that helped to give me my hope back.  Last week, I emailed my co-workers to let them know about our janitor’s wife who is suffering from cancer and chemo right now.  I told them I was going to put together a goody basket of comforting items to give her and said if anyone was interested in donating anything, I’d be appreciative.  I have to say that I was happily shocked as money has been pouring in all day.  Okay, I asked for gifts for a basket, but money… that works, too!  It’s just a wonderful feeling that these people who I probably don’t’ give enough credit would come forward like this for a stranger.  My heart is swollen today with pride in my co-workers.  Sometimes I accuse them of being cheap bastards, but today, today they showed me that many of them have huge hearts and THAT is a great feeling.

Tech Hell...

I am down one laptop.   Since I only have one laptop.  I'm virtually computerless.  It's HORRIBLE.  Okay, maybe it's good to have a little break, but so much of my life revolves around my computer!  AND, I wanted to track my upcoming vacation by posting pictures from our adventures as they happened.  THAT won't be happening.

It is time to buy a new one, I'm just a little short of money at the moment.  I'll have to wait a month.  UGH.

END WHINY POINTLESS POST.

MAY: Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.  I take this really seriously because I feel like so many people just don't understand mental health issues and how they affect people.  When you think about how someone has no right to be depressed or sad or wonder what is wrong with someone who “has it all” and is acting that way, please stop.  Stop and think about that fact that sometimes there isn't an explanation.  Stop and remember that money does not buy happiness.  Stop and think about our diverse world with diverse people and how everyone is NOT LIKE YOU.  Some people suffer from mental health conditions that take over their whole lives.  You don’t have to understand it, but you do have to accept that some people don’t have the same coping mechanism as another person.  Some people have biologically based problems that affect their brains; we are all different and we all have different problems and we all react to those problems differently. 

Instead of blaming, attacking, being angry at, or dismissing those people with Mental Health problems, find out what you can do to help.  Help them to help themselves.  Understand that we can’t understand everything, but we can support the people we love.  Expecting someone to “snap out of it” or “use their head” or “get a grip” is not helpful.  Instead help someone find resources that might be able to find a way to live that is productive and happy.  They are not choosing to feel this way!

I experienced depression at a point in my life when I was feeling very sad with the direction I was going in.  It was a short period and not a life sentence for me.  Medication and therapy worked wonders for me.  It's not that simple for most people who suffer from biological mental health problems.  I was lucky.

Here are some organizations that can help with understanding mental health:

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

The World Health Organization

And so you can get an idea how regular people live with tough problems every day, here are a few blogs I've found helpful, touching, thought-provoking, etc.  They are just people doing the best they can and it takes great courage to share such personal things with the world.  But if it helps them or others I'm happy to have the opportunity to read them and share them - they are an inspiration.

Purple Persuasion

Dooce.com

Depression Marathon

Day in the Life of a Busy Gal...

Broken Saints

Getting Old?

I think so many thoughts and have so many ideas of things I want to write here.  Usually, these thinks take place while driving.  By the time I make it to my computer, I'm a complete blank.

Do you think this means I'm just getting old?  Or is what I have to say so boring even I forget it?

Oops

It just dawned on me that I swore I wasn't going to get too personal this time.  I feel myself getting personal.

I'll try to be better.