Eeeeek!

We have a mouse. Well, I'm hoping it's a really big mouse and not, you know. Tonight I think he will die. I call him he because I want him to be male. I really do. A female would mean MORE. I actually like mice and rats... as pets. I'm weird that way. I also like snakes and lizards. I like little pets that stay in a pen. But, today I'm wishing I was a cat person. Wish me luck in the eradication of the little bugger.

In other news it's crackin' up to be a good month. We're making some progress in our house. I almost have an extra bedroom. That doesn't sound like a big deal, but I want to live like normal people. I don't want to be a non-hoarder, living in a hoarder's world. To that end, we have made leaps and bounds, but there is still a long way to go. I anticipate not being completely done until May. But that's okay. It's amazing what light at the end of one's tunnel can do for a disposition. Mine is definitely sunnier. Of course, I think that is a combination of this AND my new outlook resulting from our experiences at Burning Man this year.

Okay, I better be careful here. I'm going off on tangents. This is what happens when one doesn't write in their blog for a month. When they finally have something to say, they don't want to shut up.

WOW

So, keeping up with blogging is still not so easy. Here I finally have the opportunity to write and I'm too cranky to even do that. I have had a headache for a week and now it's turned into being SICK. Bleh. My brain isn't actually working, so I guess that means I'm just finger blithering... I'll try harder to come up with something more entertaining than my whining. Really. I'll try. Tomorrow.

A Little Something Personal

I have this bizarre problem. I don't know, maybe it isn't BIZARRE, but I wish I could just get over this. You may even notice what time I'm typing this.

I hate going to bed.

I mean, when I'm REALLY tired, I love going to bed. But, regularly, I cannot get myself to get my ass up off of the couch and go to bed at a decent time. On the weekends, it isn't a problem - I can sleep in the morning. During the week, I am kicking my own ass because I am soooooooooooo tired from not getting enough sleep. It is totally stupid. But, I just don't want to go to bed at night.

I used to be an insomniac. I guess I still am, but my disorder seems to change. I used to not be able to fall asleep and maybe this stems from that. But, now, I fall asleep RIGHT AWAY. But, I wake up a lot. Although, lately, I am a better sleeper and I think it is because I am so exhausted from staying up too late every night. And, I drive a lot, so being tired while on the road is NOT good.

I don't know what to do. I mean, I do know what to do, I just can't make myself go to bed. Am I totally nuts? Does anyone else suffer from this bizarre behavior?

Responsibility

I think if you make a commitment, you should honor it.

A New Way To Be

Ever since my Burning Man experience, I have this overwhelming urge to be nice to people. When you are there, everyone is happy, everyone is having a good time - I mean, that's their purpose there! Everyone is friendly and nice. I did not experience anyone being an asshole or judgmental or any of the things that we deal with in our every day lives.

When I left, I told myself that I wanted to keep that vibe going and not go back to my usual jaded self. But,then, life happens.

I find myself getting mad; just like usual.

I find myself thinking people are jerks; yelling at them on the freeway, feeling irritated and calling strangers not very nice names (to myself, of course), and feeling depressed by the ugliness and negativity around me.

I REALLY do not want to be this way. I REALLY want to see the good in people. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt and excuse their mistakes. I want to make people around me happy and make them feel good. I really want this. I do.

So, I guess the big question is, "can I unlearn years of a behavior?"

I don't know.

But, I want to.

But, What Do I Write?

I definitely want to stay away from the mundane this time. I promise not to write about cleaning my bathroom. I'm not sure what direction I want to go in, but maybe it will just be a place to put down my thoughts? This has got me looking at other blogs again, too. It's fun to see who is still there and who I can no longer find and there are so many new places to visit. I'm starting to feel excited about it.

Hopefully I can balance being interesting with being relatively discreet. I think we sometimes share more than we need to with the world. That won't happen here.

Try Try Again

I'm not sure if I really need to do this. Probably not. I mean, I have The Facebook, right? And, it's been YEARS since I've blogged. I don't even know if I WANT to blog. Once again, however, Buzz Agent has prompted me to start something. This time I'm trying out this About.me site and it looked so puny only having facebook. I thought I would just add my blog to it, but when I looked at all that old stuff I'd written, I realized that no one needs to ever see that stuff again! Not just seriously old, but maybe things no one should have ever read to start with.

So, here I am. Writing again. On Blogger. This is weird. I think I like it.